Time

My dad pulled out a ton of old videos yesterday, which he had kept from when our family got our first video camera – in the year 2000! So today after work, after a great workout and meditation I couldn’t wait to get into them and let the memories do the talking!

I only had the time to get through two tonight, but if those two are at all a preview of what the next few tapes will be like – I am crazy excited and cannot wait until I can take an hour out of the day, relax and rest my eyes on them again! These two were the most amazing, eye opening, and humbling blast from the past I could have asked for – the videos had on them my grade 8 graduation, little bits from the cottage, and Christmas, December 2000.
As the first tape rolled on and I sat cozy in my bed, I watched the speeches, awards and roll call from my grad. Then came my favorite part; my father-daughter dance :) and let me just point out what an extremely handsome man my father was, and still is!! Watching me being 13, talking, laughing and dancing with this man brought such an amazing smile to my face, and I couldn’t take my eyes away. His smile was so cheerful and bright, it lit the whole room! The tears came right on queue, as all I could imagine is it being a year down the road, when it will soon be my father-daughter dance at my wedding – yikes! First realization of how fast time really flies, as much of a cliche it is, oh does it go! It feels like a second ago I was being held in papas arms, his white shirt, tanned skin and dark wavy hair, dancing that night. And with a blink of my eyes, here we are today. Take me back!
The second video, as mentioned above, was of our first Christmas with this new, dazzling video-camera extraordinaire! I was clearly the prime videographer in the family – I think I had that thing attached to my head! Seeing yourself, and your family that far back, 13 years to be exact! is bittersweet, you’re so happy and proud how far you’ve all come, the amazing people each one of you has become, and the lessons, laughs and amazing times you’ve shared along the way. My dad, a studly, young man is now in his late 60’s, but still as handsome and funny as ever, my mom a dashing fashionista, a young Diane Keaton, just turned 59 and rocking it, and my sister, this full of life, blonde! 20 year old firecracker, is now 33 and still the same firecracker she was back then :)  Did I mention I LOVE my family?!
I think the one that hit home the most was when my grandfather graced us with his presence through the small LCD screen. I felt like the whole word around me went quiet, as I heard his voice for the first time in 7 years since he passed away. I listened like I never listened before, and wished more than anything to have that one moment back – Christmas 2000. He was cheerful as always, opening his gifts, laughing, cracking jokes, and busy being everyone’s favorite man :). It was surreal seeing him in front of me, a timeless man that could make anyone in the worst of moods smile. I instantly missed his laugh, his smile, his checkered shirts and aviator sunglasses, his hat collection, and the way his pockets jingled with coins and keys when he walked. I missed how he would make 25 cents the most interesting and exciting thing on the face of this earth to us young ones – do you know how much candy you could get for 25 cents back in the 90’s!! He knew, and he knew how to make us smile. Everything was amazing back then, almost untouchable.
I wish more than anything I knew then what I know now, about how it feels to miss someone when they’re no longer there. About not taking the things in front of you for granted – ever! About loving your family with all that you have. I was a young girl at the age of 13, and I kick myself in the butt for how I didn’t know or understand how quality and meaningful my time with my grandfather was then. People could tell you, sure, “take advantage now, you’re going to miss him when he’s gone!”, yet you didn’t listen.
I’m telling you to listen. Today’s post is to remind myself as well. Do not ever take anything for granted. A time, a moment, a hug, a conversation, a word exchange. Any moment with a loved one should be cherished and fully lived to its highest potential! Do all that you can for your family, love them when they need it most, hug them when they least deserve it, tell them how much you love them and be grateful for what you have every single day! Don’t let a minute pass you by, being angry, upset, lazy, because you will miss every piece of them when they’re no longer here, and will wish you had all of it back.
Grampa Cuch, I wish you could see life now, 2013, although you would probably dislike it very much! The technology, culture, simply how so much has changed in the last 7 years. We have a puppy named Tino, Dad finally bought his dream car, I am engaged!! and we are missing you more than ever, your beautiful wife misses you more than ever. Please accept my apologies for not coming to visit more, for not spending more quality time with you, for I wish now I had the chance to listen to your words, and the sound of your voice beyond the videotape, and get to know the absolutely amazing man you became. I promise to do this every day with my own father, and family and never forget how much they mean to me :) Time is extremely precious, every single moment needs your full attention, as you will never get them back.
See you again soon and love always,
Lea xo